When they try to move on after your breakup

Let me just start by saying that men do it in the worst possible way.

Prepare yourself ladies.

If you’ve recently been dumped, you’re about to see your ex on every dating site around. Why? Because they motivate each other to get over someone by getting under/over someone else.

The truth of it is, women do it to. And hey girl, if you’re getting it… get it.

But the truth to moving on from a breakup is that it takes time (a lot of time).

As women, our first instinct is to hit up every single ex-boyfriend, and it usually works. We start to try to fill their void with someone else. Not just anyone, but that special someone that we’ve always had that connection with. The one, or five, who just gets us.

After a few days/weeks of annoying texts and remembering why they’re you’re ex or why you never dated them to begin with, the memories of your newest ex are back. He just won’t get the fuck out, right? Like, ummmm no bitch. Bye. Go. Done. Hate you. Never again. You’re dead to me.

We continuously tell ourselves over and over how much better we are without them. In all reality, WE ARE!  Sorry  boys, but your bullshit is no longer needed.

Nobody wants to be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with them. I mean, if you want to beg for someone’s love by all means do so, just not my style.

My resolution = “Bitch Bye!”

They will do, say, text and even fucking snapchat you everything they can to get under your skin. I mean hell, they might even still go out and party with the girls that were part of your crew (similar to your friends but not really bestie material, if you know what I’m saying).

In all reality, they suck. Plain and simple. You my friend will deal with the reality of what is happening. You’ll drink your wine and cry on your friend’s shoulder. You’ll even slam your car breaks in the middle of a fucking road and start screaming at the top of your lungs (check).

Your life will be consumed with ups and downs for a few months. I’m not going to lie to you. Keep holding on to the hope of tomorrow being a better day. Because one day it will be better than today.

Life lesson: BREAKUPS FUCKING SUCK.

Maybe this is why guys never want to date? They’re fucking smart. Either they figured it out before we did or we have more balls to take on the hopes of something whimsical? Ew, I can’t believe I just said that.

Anyways… just know that in the end, you’re the one coming out ahead! Do you boo. Be proud, hold your head high and smile.

#Winning

***Unless you’re a psycho ex-grirlfriend, none of this applies to you. Sorry.

 

 

The memories of yesterday

It’s so easy to hold onto things and be resentful.
It’s easier to blame people for our mistakes and unhappiness.

But the reality is we allowed that to happen.
We allowed ourselves to get lost in the fantasy and fairytale.
To have hope in something that wasn’t real.

We choose our paths. They don’t choose us.
We have the option to walk left or run right.
And sometimes we choose the wrong turn.
But in the end we all come out above.
Stronger than yesterday yet weaker than before.
And maybe it’s in our weakest moments that we find our strengths.
That we learn about ourselves and our passions.
It might be easier to hold onto the what ifs of the past
or the hopes of tomorrow.
But all we really have is who we are in this moment.
In the now.

It might be easier to hate and harder to let go
but nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy.

Break the norms.
Don’t settle for easy.
Fight today for an easier tomorrow.
One day it will come.
And when it does, it will be a blessing.

Our biggest hurdle is fighting through the memories of yesterday.
Let them go.
Let it be.
Walk left and then run right.
Do it all.

Finding yourself

There comes a time in your life when you have to be selfish. You have to focus on your life and find what makes you happy. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows but what the fuck ever. Life goes on. In the midst of all the chaos, you’ll find yourself. Slowly but surely.

So how do you stop focusing on the past and move on? One day at a time. Your life will not get any better if you don’t better yourself first. One of my favorite books that inspired me is The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. His methods have been used by many people in this world and have played a large influence on my life. Please do yourself a favor and READ IT. I swear to you, it’s life changing.

I’ve come to the realization that life isn’t about living for others. You have to live for yourself and love  yourself. It’s okay to be selfish and do you. And you should. As a dear friend of mine has recently reminded me, “The way to do is to be”.

BE HAPPY.
BE HUMBLE.
BE KIND.
BE POSITIVE.
BE YOU.

This is your life friend. Your way of being. You are the only person who can change your life and your habits. Remember that saying, “Life’s too short”? It really is. Don’t get lost in yesterday and please don’t get lost in your habits. Not even the what ifs. Chase what you want, don’t play games (unless it’s blackjack obvi), and never settle for less that what you deserve.

 Change for the better but most importantly, change for yourself.

“There’s something so magical about everything between the narrow lines of wrong and right.”
-Kelsey

Stop Pretending

At some point in my life I was lost. Yes, lost. I had started living a party scene lifestyle that I am not fond of. Partying was my way of coping with the past. It’s easier to numb our pain caused by  issues in our life than to simply feel. To feel the hurt. Who the fuck wants to feel the real, raw emotions of heartbreak, loss, or a family splitting up. A life where everything is shattering in front of you. Not me, that’s for damn sure. So, I masked my hurt in the worst possible way. I lost myself. At one point I had nothing and I was fine with that. But sooner or later someone came along. He was my saving grace. Literally.

I stopped the crazy partying I had been caught up in. Along with the binge drinking and the pretending, kind of. This was meant to be. Him, right there, standing in front of me. My life had been spiraling out of control and he showed up to rescue me. Now don’t sit there thinking “oh you poor girl, a man can’t save you”. The truth is, he did. And I will forever be grateful.

This man had everything a girl could ask for: looks, brains, and money. Yes, I’ll admit that the money was awesome, but over all, he was an amazing person. The only catch, he wanted me to be a certain type of girlfriend. I’m not going to get into details because just writing this breaks me down. I was so caught up in the traveling, the gifts, this luxury lifestyle that everyone dreams of. Shit, I had dreamed of living a rich life since I was little. They always said that money is the root of all evil, and it sure as hell is. Aside from the nice things, he treated me so well. He made me realize my worth, my intelligence, and that I (yes, me. weird right?) could do anything in this world. That I was capable of being a #girlboss and a #bossassbitch.

The catch here was that as I started to like him, I became somebody I was not. As women, we tend to form to the wants and needs of the men we’re attracted to. So here I was again, pretending. Why? Because I liked him. I liked everything about him as a person including his good looks and charm. He was so charismatic and elegant in a weird way that I just loved. So my thought process was, if I wanted to date this man I obviously had to be what he liked. At one point I actually became the person I tried so hard to be. I fucking nailed it. To a T. Nobody had any idea I was pretending to be this type of girlfriend. Not even me; that’s how well I pulled it off. Call me deceiving or manipulative, whatever it is that makes you feel better about bashing me. But I was a fucking rockstar who was running the show and living the life I had always dreamed of, with Mr. Right.

Three years later and reality has finally hit me. Somewhere along the way I lost myself. I don’t know how I came to the realization that I needed to stop pretending, but I did. Who the hell did I become? How many people did I deceive along the way? How many friendships would end if I came out with the truth? I can’t even imagine all of the poor girls along the way that idolized me. How fucked up am I to preach a way of life when I wasn’t even sure of it myself? I knew that being honest with myself was the only way to become a better version of me. How in the hell could I tell the man I was madly in love with that I couldn’t be that girlfriend anymore? Let me get one thing straight, dating a man who sees no faults in himself is tough enough. Asking a man like this to change, the ending isn’t in your favor (clearly). The truth came out and honestly, I felt a sense of relief. My shoulders lightened while my heart shattered beneath my chest. No more pretending.

I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not anymore. Losing yourself is one thing, but losing the person you love is even harder. And if we’re being honest here, I never pretended to love him. That was real. All of it. My life lesson to you, don’t pretend. Don’t get caught up in the luxury lifestyle. It will destroy you. It will suck you in and spit you out faster than you can blink. And in the end, I feel sorry for most of the people living a life like this. I feel even worse for the people who are pretending.

To everyone I hurt, lied to, deceived and manipulated along the way, I’m sorry.

 

Decorating A Small Balcony

First off, I love love love decorating.

It’s one of those things that kind of comes to me naturally.

I just pick out what I want to decorate, set aside a budget and visualize it. Zach thinks this visualization that I get is complete bogus, but seriously, it’s real!

So first thing is first, I decided on my project… the ‘small ass balcony’. YES, smaller than anyone can imagine.

My first thought when planning out the theme was grass. I wanted Harvey to have an area where he felt like he was in a backyard and could sun tan and chill. That outdoors/outback doggy sorta feeling. Does that make sense? I didn’t want the area to have real grass and plus how the hell would that grow on a balcony? Just too chaotic and far over my head so I ordered fake grass on amazon. PERFECT!

One I knew that the grass was going to be my base I started to think of seating. Zach wanted a lounge chair that was lower to the ground rather than a high top with two seats. You know me, I’m thinking sunset views with a glass of wine and some cheese. So I figured I would look around for some lower seating. I found the perfect little outdoor corner chair at IKEA and it fits perfectly! The pillows that we initially bought blew off in a storm (must have been a sign) so I bought these new boho-ish pillows.

Since we live right on the boardwalk I wanted to pull in that succulent/beach vibe. Spruce up the balcony with some plants. Home depot had an amazing selection of succulents and the best hanging garden planters!

 

And to finish the balcony decor off I found a little side table at Home Goods. It’s a perfect size, holds my laptop if needed, and fits in perfectly with the vibe. I topped it with a little lantern for nighttime light and brought the succulents from the rail to the table.

Harvey is now obsessed with the new balcony. Not only does he sit out there all day with his face in the ocean breeze but he insists on eating his breakfast like a king on the chair. So spoiled.

 

If you need any help deciding on a theme or decorating ideas for a project, let me know!

 

Let’s Be Honest, Organic Tampons

Honest Organic Tampons

As if having a period isn’t hard enough right? Then you have to find the BEST tampon to use because maybe the one your bestie told you about isn’t really the best. You feel me?

You don’t have time to research about tampons, pads, panty liners and every other damn feminine product out there. And to even start talking about the ‘tampon tax’… I can’t.

Let me introduce you to the best tampon I’ve found, Honest Organic Cotton Tampons.

100% certified organic tampons with plant-based applicator

Yes, I’m serious, 100% certified organic tampons.

BONUS FEATURES:
+ Hypoallergenic for sensitive skin
+ Compact, flexible plant-based applicator
+ Designed for a natural & comfortable fit
+ Enhanced leak protection

Honest has a variety of options when it comes to choosing the right feminine product that fits your needs. You can find tampons with different absorbency sizes (regular, super, super plus), some without applicators, and my favorite the organic cotton applicator tampons. Not to be disgusting or anything but I’d like to keep my hands clean when inserting a tampon. Anyways, they even sell pads, pantyliners

Here are my thoughts on periods and tampons…

If you’re going to insert something into your body it better be organic. Why would you want synthetic superabsorbent tampons covered in fragrances inside your vagina just hanging out? Hard pass.

Another reason I love Honest…

Each tampon purchase helps fund education and skills training for young women to pursue their dreams. Tampon power!

Pretty fucking cute box, right?

Oh, and the little boxes of 16 are super adorable. The top of the box is perforated and comes right off. I leave my box in plain sight that’s how cute they are! And super bonus, the boyfriend doesn’t say a word about it since it’s so trendy.

You can purchase Honest Organic Tampons directly on The Honest Co. website under the personal care tab or use their retail locator to find a store near you. Fortunately, I was able to find them in bulk at Costco (obsessed with Costco).

The Honest Co. was founded by Jessica Alba who in my opinion is such a badass. Even more of a reason to shop Honest.

I have yet to try any of their other products but I’m going to start testing them out.

Do you have any favorite Honest products?

and let me know what you think about my favorite tampons…

 

 

 

 

Mother-Daughter Getaway to Sedona

 I took a little mother-daughter trip to Sedona, Arizona with my mother and sister and highly recommend this place to all of you. Yes, it is as perfect and relaxing as it looks and the rocks really are that red [hello views]. Planning the trip to Sedona was a little chaotic but well worth it in the end.

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My beautiful mother

Thanks to my Instagram creeping skills [seriously, I’m pro], we ate lunch at the cutest little place called Indian Gardens Oak Creek Market. I found their Instagram account under the hashtag #Sedona and instantly fell in love with the ambiance. Imagine this tiny café tucked against a hill surrounded by fresh air and green trees everywhere. Plus the boho vibes, refreshing iced tea, and the food is to die for!

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Dan The Man

After lunch, we decided to walk around the little shops downtown near the Pink Jeep Tours. When you see all of the pink jeeps you’ll know what I’m talking about. We didn’t end up taking one because the weather was a little unpredictable but next time for sure.

Instead, we decided to try tarot card reading. The store we went to is called Sedona Crystal Vortex. There are tons and tons and tons of rocks for sale here so don’t be thrown off when you walk in expecting to see this lady holding a crystal ball and deck of cards. My tarot reading was interesting and like nothing I’ve experienced before. Have you ever had one? Did you feel like it was accurate or what?

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Sedona Crystal Vortex

Next to this store is a juice/smoothie spot… make sure you go here it’s delicious, mouthwatering, and addictive. I ordered a smoothie and my sister had the juice. Both were to die for.

If you’re thinking of taking a weekend trip I highly recommend traveling to Sedona, Arizona. If you’re already in Arizona [high five to my fellow zonies] get out of that city heat and make a day trip of it. Sedona was relaxing, full of positive vibes, and really the best place to unwind.